Finding Joy in Marriage & Special Needs Parenting: Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship Today
As a mom and speech therapist, I’ve witnessed firsthand how parenting children with special needs can impact a marriage. That’s why I was thrilled to sit down with Lucy Martin, a licensed therapist and relationship coach, for an enlightening conversation about maintaining a thriving marriage while managing the unique challenges of special needs parenting.
Lucy brings both professional expertise and personal experience to this topic as a mother of five neurodivergent children. What struck me most about our conversation was her emphasis on shifting perspectives – not just about our children’s challenges, but about our marriages as well.
The Power of “Staying on Your Own Paper”
One of the most powerful takeaways from our discussion was the importance of “staying on our own paper.” As Lucy explained, we often get caught up in trying to manage our spouse’s approach to parenting or “fix” their way of doing things, especially when it comes to our children’s special needs. But this tendency to micromanage can actually create distance in our marriages.
Key takeaways about respecting differences:
– Different parenting approaches don’t necessarily mean wrong approaches
– Trust your spouse’s ability to care for and protect your children
– Express desires without trying to control outcomes
Redefining Self-Care for Special Needs Moms
The topic of self-care really hit home for me. Lucy challenged the traditional notion of self-care, suggesting it’s less about spa days and more about identifying what truly brings us joy and energy. When she asked her clients to write down what they like to do, many struggled – just as I did – to answer this seemingly simple question.
Simple ways to reconnect with yourself:
– Make a list of small things that bring you joy (even something as simple as the smell of lavender)
– Identify activities that give you energy rather than drain it
– Look for “heavy hitters” – activities that fill your cup for extended periods
– Find ways to incorporate small pleasures into your daily routine
Building a Stronger Marriage Through Daily Interactions
What I particularly appreciated was Lucy’s practical approach to building a stronger marriage. Instead of adding more to our already full plates (like mandatory date nights), she emphasized the importance of showing respect and appreciation in our daily interactions. Her suggestion to spend a day only saying positive things to our spouse was eye-opening – both in its simplicity and in how challenging it can be!
Celebrating Progress Over Perfection
One of my favorite moments in our conversation was discussing how to flip our perspective on our children’s challenges. Instead of focusing on deficits or difficult moments, we discussed and encouraged listeners to celebrate small victories – like reducing meltdown times or having successful moments in therapy. This mindset shift not only benefits our children but can transform our marriage dynamics as well.
Creating a Foundation of Joy
For those struggling with balancing marriage and special needs parenting, Lucy offered this beautiful reminder: when we take care of ourselves and our marriages, we’re not taking away from our children – we’re actually becoming better equipped to care for them. It’s about creating a foundation of joy and strength that benefits the entire family.
I hope this conversation leaves listeners inspired and equipped with practical tools for nurturing their marriage while managing the unique challenges of special needs parenting.
Want to hear more? Listen to the full episode to dive deeper into these topics and learn more about Lucy’s approach to building a strong biblical marriage while parenting special needs children.
What strategies have you found helpful in maintaining a strong marriage while parenting special needs children? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!
Connect with the guest: Lucy Martin
Instagram: @easybiblicalmarriage
Website: EasyBiblicalMarriage.com
Podcast: Easy Biblical Marriage Podcast
Facebook Group: Easy Biblical Marriage