Christian Adoption Guide: What No One Tells You About the Process
Finding God’s Purpose Through Adoption
As I sat down with Becca Pass for our latest Speaking Life Into Motherhood podcast episode, I expected to learn about adoption. What I didn’t expect was to have my eyes opened to both the beautiful and challenging realities of the adoption world, and to witness how God can work through our struggles to create something meaningful and impactful.
The Reality of Modern Adoption
Becca’s journey began like many others – with infertility and a heart for adoption. However, her five-year journey revealed some concerning trends in the adoption industry that every prospective adoptive family should know about:
Red Flags to Watch For:
- Consultants who seem disconnected from birth mother support
- Pressure to make quick decisions (sometimes in 15 minutes or less)
- Extremely high fees (some reaching $90,000+)
- Situations where birth mothers have placed multiple times in a short period
- Agencies that don’t coordinate with state support programs
- Lack of counseling services for expectant mothers
Finding Ethical Adoption Professionals
One of the most crucial aspects of the adoption journey is aligning yourself with professionals who share your values and prioritize the well-being of all parties involved.
What to Look For in an Agency:
- Faith-based approach to adoption
- Comprehensive support for expectant mothers
- Counseling services
- Coordination with state programs
- Focus on local community connections
- Transparent fee structures
- Long-term support plans for birth mothers
Navigating the Home Study Process
While many families feel intimidated by the home study process, Becca emphasizes that it’s more about paperwork than perfection.
Key Home Study Components:
- Background checks
- Financial documentation
- Home safety assessment
- Family interviews
- Reference letters
- Health records
- Personal statements
Creating Your Profile Book
Your profile book is often an expectant mother’s first glimpse into your family life. Here’s how to approach it authentically:
Profile Book Tips:
- Share genuine interests and hobbies
- Include community and family photos
- Write a heartfelt letter to potential birth mothers
- Showcase your faith journey
- Highlight your support system
- Include pictures of your home and lifestyle
- Be authentic rather than perfect
Dealing with Adoption Disruption
Disruptions can be one of the most challenging parts of the adoption journey. Becca’s experience offers valuable insights for families facing this difficult situation:
Coping Strategies:
- Allow yourself time to grieve
- Lean into your faith community
- Journal your feelings
- Seek counseling if needed
- Remember God’s sovereignty
- Stay connected with your support system
- Consider how your experience might help others
Action Steps for Prospective Adoptive Families
- Research Phase:
- Join adoption support groups
- Read adoption blogs and books
- Follow adoption-focused social media accounts
- Connect with adoptive families in your community
- Agency Selection:
- Research multiple agencies
- Check references and reviews
- Interview potential agencies
- Verify licensing and credentials
- Ask about their birth mother support programs
- Preparation Phase:
- Begin home study documentation
- Start financial planning
- Create support network
- Join adoption education classes
- Begin profile book preparation
- Spiritual Preparation:
- Develop a prayer routine
- Join a support group at your church
- Study Biblical examples of adoption
- Journal your faith journey
- Find a spiritual mentor
Supporting Birth Mothers
Becca’s journey led her to become a doula, highlighting the crucial need for birth mother support. Here’s how adoptive families can support expectant mothers:
Ways to Show Support:
- Respect their autonomy in decision-making
- Provide emotional support without pressure
- Honor their birth plan preferences
- Support their post-placement healing
- Maintain appropriate boundaries
- Follow through with communication agreements
- Pray for their well-being
The Role of Faith in Adoption
Throughout our conversation, Becca emphasized how her faith sustained her during the waiting periods and challenges. Her powerful testimony reminds us of Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Spiritual Growth Opportunities:
- Developing patience during waiting periods
- Trusting God’s timing
- Finding purpose in the journey
- Building empathy for others
- Strengthening prayer life
- Understanding God’s heart for adoption
- Growing in community with others
Resources for Your Journey
To help you navigate your adoption journey, here are some valuable resources:
Recommended Organizations:
- Gifts of Grace Adoption (Lafayette, Indiana)
- Brave Love Organization
- Local adoption support groups
- Christian adoption networks
- Birth mother support organizations
- Adoption-competent counselors
- Faith-based adoption agencies
Joy in the Journey
The adoption journey, while challenging, can be a beautiful testament to God’s faithfulness and perfect timing. As Becca’s story shows us, sometimes our greatest ministry can emerge from our deepest struggles. Whether you’re just beginning to consider adoption or are already on the journey, remember that God can use every step of the process – even the painful ones – to shape you and prepare you for His purposes.
Remember:
- Trust in God’s timing
- Stay educated about the process
- Maintain ethical standards
- Support birth mothers
- Build a strong support system
- Keep documentation organized
- Stay connected to your faith community
Your adoption journey might look different than you expected, but God can use it in ways you never imagined to bring blessing to others and glory to His name.
Ready to learn more about ethical adoption? Listen to the full episode with Becca Pass HERE or connect with her on Facebook at wildroot.doula