From Burnout to Breathing Space | 4 Soul-Nourishing Self Care Tips for Overwhelmed Special Needs Parents
Today on the podcast, I had the privilege of speaking with Jamie Kirkbride, a parent coach who brings such valuable insight from both her professional experience and personal journey as a mother of seven.(!) What really resonates about Jamie is how she combines her background as a professional counselor with her faith-based approach to parenting. Her story of navigating her own child’s journey with ADHD, depression, and mood disorders makes her perspective especially meaningful for parents facing similar challenges.
Leading up to our conversation, I was really excited by Jamie’s beautiful framework for self-care – the CARE acronym. It offers such practical steps for overwhelmed parents, especially those raising children with additional needs. Let me break down this powerful framework that Jamie shared with us:
C – Compassion
This really hit home for me. How often do we extend grace to our friends but struggle to give ourselves the same kindness? I shared during our conversation how we as moms may feel guilty about doing things “for ourselves” or our own self care. But would we judge a friend for doing the same? Probably not! Jamie suggested writing a letter to yourself from God’s perspective – what would He say about your struggles and efforts? I’ve committed to doing this exercise myself this week, and I encourage you to join me.
One beautiful suggestion Jamie made was to save this letter and return to it on difficult days. It’s like creating your own personal encouragement time capsule, filled with God’s truth about who you are and how He sees you.
A – Adjust
This is where we get practical about our schedules and commitments. It’s about being a wise steward of what God has given us – not just our money, but our energy, time, and emotional resources too. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for our families is to take something off our plates.
I challenge you this week to identify one thing you can adjust. Maybe it’s delegating therapy appointments to a family member, or deciding that this season isn’t the right time for that extra activity. Remember – when you remove something from your schedule, you’re not just taking away, you’re giving yourself and your family the gift of time and presence.
R – Recharge
This part of our conversation really opened my eyes. Jamie emphasized that basic hygiene isn’t self-care (guilty as charged – I’ve definitely counted a quick shower as “me time”!). We talked about the importance of identifying what truly recharges us – from small daily practices like starting the day with worship music to bigger dreams like that vacation in Jamaica (someday!).
Here’s a practical exercise we discussed: Make a list of 10 things that recharge you, ranging from quick, everyday activities to bigger occasional treats. For me, singing on the worship team at church is deeply recharging, but so is those extra 10 minutes with my coffee in the morning before everyone wakes up. The key is being intentional about planning these moments, no matter how small.
E – Evaluate
This final step is crucial but often overlooked. It’s about honestly assessing what’s working and what isn’t, then making adjustments accordingly. Through prayer and reflection, we can better understand our needs and triggers. I love how Jamie emphasized that evaluation isn’t about beating ourselves up over what didn’t work, but about understanding ourselves better and making informed adjustments.
“What if your child is only going to learn how to take care of themselves and do self-care by watching you?
What really gave me goosebumps was Jamie’s closing thought: “What if your child is only going to learn how to take care of themselves and do self-care by watching you? What will they be learning if they’re watching you?”
For our parents raising children with additional needs, Jamie shared how these same principles can help us better support our kids. That vital step of validation before action – acknowledging things like “It is hard to do things when you’re tired” before moving forward – can make such a difference in our daily interactions.
She explained how often our children’s intense emotions are really just their way of telling us we don’t understand them. By offering validation and compassion first, we can help de-escalate situations and build stronger connections. Instead of saying “It won’t take long, let’s get going,” try “You’ve had a really big day at school. Would you like to take five minutes to rest before we tackle this?”
Making It Practical
I love how the CARE framework can be adapted for different ages and abilities. For older children, you might even share your own CARE journey with them, opening up conversations about self-care and emotional regulation. As Jamie pointed out, this transparency can be incredibly validating for our kids.
Resources for Your Journey
If you’re feeling called to dig deeper into these strategies, Jamie offers free resources at parentingwithpersonality.com. She’s also created a particularly helpful guide at calmconnectionparent.com/behind-the-behavior that can help others better understand and support your child’s unique needs. This resource is especially valuable when you’re trying to help other caregivers understand your child’s specific challenges.
Remember, mama, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish – it’s necessary. It’s about being a wise steward of all God has given you to manage. Let’s start small this week: pick one element of CARE to focus on, and give yourself grace as you begin this journey. Put some Post-it notes around your house with encouraging reminders. Set a daily alarm for five minutes of recharge time. Small steps lead to big changes.
I’d love to hear from you: Which element of CARE resonates most with you right now? How are you planning to implement these strategies in your own life? Share your thoughts in the comments below, and let’s support each other on this journey of growth and grace.
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Connect with the host: Elyse Scheeler
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Connect with the guest: Jamie Kirkbride
- Website: www.parentingwithpersonality.com
- Podcast: Calm Connection Parenting
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Disclaimer
The views and opinions expressed in this episode are those of the guests and hosts and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Speaking Life Into Motherhood. None of the advice or discussion on the podcast is medical advice.